Facebook Terms and Conditions Bro-lified

facebook

If you have ever read through an entire Terms and Conditions then I guess. There’s only 3 possibilities. Either that you’re a lawyer, a paranoid dick, or just.. doing a dare of some sort.

So anyway, some guys decided to be a boss and translate the entire TOCs into bro-language. Something that you and I can understand rather than just some fucked up shit.

In Facebook language, it’s

About Advertisements and Other Commercial Content Served or Enhanced by Facebook
Our goal is to deliver ads that are not only valuable to advertisers, but also valuable to you. In order to do that, you agree to the following:

  1. You can use your privacy settings to limit how your name and profile picture may be associated with commercial, sponsored, or related content (such as a brand you like) served or enhanced by us. You give us permission to use your name and profile picture in connection with that content, subject to the limits you place.
  2. We do not give your content or information to advertisers without your consent.
  3. You understand that we may not always identify paid services and communications as such.

But they did a good job of translating it into,

About Advertisements and Other Commercial Content Served or Enhanced by Facebook

There’s no way around it – we’re going to show you some ads. But we have a vision, and that vision is that we’ll show you ads that you actually want to see. Idealistic? Yes. Downright ludicrous? Maybe. But we like to dream big:

  1. Sometimes we’re going to use your picture and your name in ads. Maybe we’ll tell your friends, “Hey guys! This guy over here likes this thing, shouldn’t you?” It makes people buy more shit if we trick them like that. Since we’re going to use your name and picture one way or the other, it’s probably better if you tell us how you do and don’t want it used.
  2. Seriously, though, we promise not to tell advertisers anything about you without your permission. See? When you get to know us, we’re not so bad.
  3. On the other hand, we don’t have to tell you shit, either. Sometimes you’ll see something that looks like an ad, but maybe it isn’t, and you’ll be like, “Is that an ad, Facebook?” and we’ll be like, “…Good question.”

Either way, if you haven’t read it before (like duh)

Then you should really go and check it out, so that you know, you won’t get fucked by this shit in the future.

http://slacktory.com/2011/08/entire-facebook-terms-of-service-in-bro-speak/

Fuck yeah I just finished reading it.

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